Revised Purity Test

Old school bbs days purity test - remember these things?

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I remember these from back in the days when I was a SysOp of a local BBS - wow, this purity test really brings me back to simpler times

Newly Revised Purity Test -- Why another version?

1) It is possible to get a score of about 45% simply by dabbling in each category given in the 1000 question version. This test eliminates all of the redundancies of asking if you have done something in several different places... it skips right to the most disgusting, perverted and off-the-wall questions.

Definitions: (for the innocent, naive, or too busy)

If you need definitions, then this test is not for you... please take a different version.

And yes, technicalities count.

Ready? Then let the test... BEGIN!


1.masturbated while watching an R or X rated movie in public
(a theatre)?

2.had sex with someone whose name you still don't know?

3.fantasized during sexual activity about somebody other than
the one present during sexual activity?

4.gone steady with two or more people with all aware of the other(s)?

5.implied having had sex with someone when you hadn't?

6.fed live animals to pets (eg baby chicks to the pit bull)?

7.wife-(or husband)swapped?

8.given sexual favors as payoff for a wager?

9.attempted to corrupt someone's morals only to discover they
know things you don't?

10.considered sperm a protein supplement?

11.been to a "public bath"?

12.patronized a prostitute and been told to forget the bill?

13.engaged in incestual activity (with a member of your family)?

14.engaged in bondage ('voluntarily', you had some control on initiation.)?

15.performed analingus ("oral stimulation of the anus")?

16.practiced necrophila (sex with the dead)?

17.cause another person pain for your pleasure (its called sadism)?

18.had another inflict pain for your own pleasure (its called masochism)?

19.mutilated animals for your own pleasure?

20.been intoxicated from a controlled or illicit drug?

21.injected any non-prescription drug into someone else when they were
unaware of what you were doing?

22.been a roadie?

23.composed bawdy lyrics?

24.made or synthesized your own drugs?

25.been told you had sex the night before and you can't recall a thing?

26.demonstrated oral sex techniques for more than one person at a time?

27.deliberately lost a game which required the removal of clothing
(folding with four aces)?

28.accepted an invitation to watch and you went?

29.searched for the G-spot and found it?

30.accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender and been
offered sex?

31.posed as a model for purposes of erotic, pornographic or sexually
explicit art?

32.been late to work, class or an appointment because you were
involved in sexual activity?

33.drank blood?

34.had sexual activity simultaneously with both (or however many) siblings
(not your own)?

35.complimented someone on their taste?

36.Have you a tattoo in an intimate location?

37.have you a tattoo normally concealed by your pubic hair?

38.had spreadable food put on you and eaten, or licked off?

39.used a vibrator for sexual stimulation?

40.been distraught because one of your animal friends with whom you enjoyed
having sex died?

41.tasted or eaten shit or urine?

42.tied someone up and shown them to others?

43.been bound and had someone whip you?

44.had your (other) lips pierced (or penis)?

45.had sex with a person who was asleep and that person didn't wake up?

46.slept through sexual activity (being done to you)?

47.fucked on a first date with a female?

48.fucked on a first date with a male?

49.fucked in a place of religion?

50.fucked in a place of the dead?

51.fucked during a movie (drive-ins do NOT count)?

52.fucked in a sports area (not in the bathroom, while an event was taking

53.fucked in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT (passenger car)?

54.fucked in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT (van, RV)?

55.fucked in a moving vehicle of more than 10000 pounds GWT?

56.fucked the operator of a moving vehicle?

57.fucked in an aircraft in flight?

58.fucked on public transportation?

59.fucked in a library?

60.fucked in a free flowing body of water (river, lake, swimming
pool, ocean)?

61.had sexual activity on a piece of furniture not normally used
for resting humans on (i.e. microwave, washing machine, tv [acrobatic aren't you])?

62.fucked while showering with a member of the opposite sex in
a 'non-coed' facility (locker room, dorm shower, whatever)?

63.considered having to installed a 'take a ticket' machine (as in
"now serving number ..")?

64.made or taken a phone call during sexual activity with someone (and not

65.engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session
with the same partner?

66.been sore on the morning after?

67.disturbed others with the noise from your sexual activity?

68.had your partner fall asleep during intercourse or oral sex?

69.had sex with more than 2 people in a 24 hour time period?

70.been involved in a gang bang (banger or bangee) (being gang
raped doesn't count)?

71.been involved in a menage-a-trios?

72.participated in an orgy or similar group activity?

73.made an invitation to join in an orgy or similar group activity?

74.walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual
activity, and been asked to join and did so?

75.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
activity and you asked them to join?

To find your score... divide the number of N answers by 75, this will tell you
how `pure' you are.


Some of these questions seem so tame - a true sign of the times. There it is folks, the old timey purity test.

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